


Load

by Redstarz97



Series: Time is Relative [5]
Category: South Park
Genre: I honestly haven't written something this dark in a while, Kenny royally fucks up basically, M/M, Torture, but never enough to be a main cast, introduction to Erra, kind of really messed up, like violent wise, undertale reference lots of it too, who has a bigger part later in the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8973487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redstarz97/pseuds/Redstarz97
Summary: You were a perfectionist down to the core that you were blinded by the fact that only you could go back and fix something that was wrong. You forget that there are others who are just like you and crave for your abilities.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the longest of the one-shots so far but not the only one. Later on there may be more- at least the ones that are serious and are heavily based on the plot that I have for the series as a whole. This is probably more of the darker ones but I won't say it'll be the only one. So tread with caution??
> 
> Also another note: the name in the fic is NOT New Kid's name. It's just what they call them but in no way is that their real name. And for the sake of the series New Kid will probably NOT have a name in later one-shots. Yes I know they're called Dovahkiin in game for this series they are nameless and won't respond to that name.

You weren’t exactly sure when you became such a perfectionist, but you were pretty sure you were addicted to it by now.

Every little wrong mistake or embarrassment could easily be fixed or avoided, every big situation could be prevented or written anew and it was all because of your amazing wonderful ability.

Something you always called a curse.

You were warned by them to not abuse your ability, but just the thought of being able to undo mistakes and wrongdoings was just so tempting you just had to. You thought if you started it with just small tasks or something big it wouldn’t affect you or the world around you too much.

Who knew you’d spiral out of control with the ability.

Every time something was amiss you easily rewrote it as to where it never happened to begin with, like a big eraser in the timelines that would erase a crooked branch.

You should’ve heeded their warnings.

The more you thought about it, the more you were consumed by the thought of impending disaster that was slowly crashing down upon you. All the timestreams merging and causing an apocalyptic effect on the world around you that could only be cured by the growth of another time tree and the previous timestreams would die along with the world. You’d start at square one once again.

But did it really matter at this point? You wondered as you stood at the tip of a branch and watched as the streams of time flowed gently to the top of the never ending abyss. The ‘menu’ space as you heard it being called, held the timelines together and contained them. It was like planets that were contained in the darkness of space that was littered with stars. Everything inside would still move while it simply let them exist inside of it.

You honestly didn’t think it’d fit with that description but that’s how they had described it. You thought they were probably high at the time when told you.

Just as you slowly closed your eyes and let yourself be pulled back into the stream and world you currently existed in, you couldn’t help but picture haunting sky blue eyes staring right through you. Seeing how disgusting of a perfectionist you were and you shivered as you let your body be consumed by time itself.

**\--Loading File 1--**

**\---**

**\--File 1 successfully Loaded--**

When you opened your eyes you found yourself at the school yard under the large tree at the corner of the brick wall. You laid on your back with your fingers intertwined in the pocket of your hoodie as you stared up at the leaves that gently swayed with the breeze. It was a perfect and serene moment since the schoolyard was empty and all of the other students went home for the day.

You were all alone enjoying the nice Friday afternoon.

Something which had already happened.

The thought struck you as odd seeing as how you don’t know why you ended up two days in the past. There were no mistakes you could think of that you wanted to righted nor any big event that could cause the end of the world.

There was literally nothing that needed fixing so why were you back to your last save point again?

You sat up abruptly and shook the snow out of your messy hair, the thought of loading when there didn’t need to be one shook you to the very core. It scared you to think that perhaps someone else is doing this and they don’t know the consequences of their actions. There was no reason to load and there was no reason to be back here again.

But then again, this wouldn’t have been the first time you’ve done this.

With a shaky sigh, you slowly rose to stand only to stiffen from an ominous feeling that came from behind. Hesitantly and cautiously, you turned to the bushes not too far from where you stood and saw a glint of blue smothered into to the sea of dark green leaves.

You both stared at each other before you made a mad dash to the brick fence next to the tree and climbed. You heard the rustle of leaves behind you and the crunch of snow under heavy boots as you scrambled over the fence, you dropped onto the snowy ground and ran. The heavy footsteps not too far behind.

You already knew who it was, you already knew what he wanted, and you already knew what would happened if he caught you.

With a burst of determination accompanied by fear, you willed yourself to run faster and faster to an unknown destination. Anywhere where he wouldn’t find me, you kept repeating to yourself as you absentmindedly ran into a thicket of trees. Branches and roots scraped against your clothing and skin and leaves cascaded onto your head and clothes.

The footsteps had become silent the moment you ran into the forest but you weren’t really paying attention as you let yourself become more and more lost within the ocean of trees. Probably to be lost forever in which you wished so dearly and maybe then you could be free of the burden of your own existence.

However, you should’ve known for as long as you can remember, Kenny never let you have what you wanted.

You yelped when a hand suddenly shot out in front of you and yanked you into some bushes next to a giant oak tree. Your back hit the hard bark of the trunk and you were pinned down by a mass of orange. Amber eyes stared fearfully at daunting blues that hung over you as you both gazed silently at each other.

You hated the silence between you two. It always felt as though you were slowly being smothered by the intensity in his eyes. Kenny had always scared you in his own way.

“What were you doing?” His muffled voice hovered above you and you quickly turned your eyes away from his. You couldn’t really bear to look at him as you told your white little lies like always, it always made you feel sick to lie to the boy above you.

“... nothing.” You mumbled as you let your eyes focus on the snow banks beside you. He couldn’t have known you had just accidentally loaded, there was no possible way for him to know anyway was there? The thought of him knowing and hating you even more than he already does made you shivered a little.

There was a slight pause before Kenny sat up, the pressure leaving you some but not enough for you to wiggle free like always.

“The guys are hanging out at Cartman’s place if you wanna come,” You heard him hum before he corrected himself, already anticipating your answer. “You have to come since the guys are hanging out at Cartman’s place.”

You glanced at him from the corner of your eyes and bit harshly on your bottom lip; Kenny always read you like an open book.

“Your house isn’t this way, you and I both know that.” You cowered away, his voice dropping in the way of his famous alter-ego.

Mysterion intimidated you greatly but never as much as Kenny himself.

You made a small noise and felt his body move off of you but before you had a chance to make your escape with the short window of freedom, you were quickly yanked up by your wrist in a vice grip. It was painful the way his fingers curled around your still developing bones.

For a boy his size, Kenny was indeed a pretty strong person.

You grimaced as he pulled you along the trail through the forest, the crunch of snow filled the void of silence between you as you stared at the hand on your wrist. You didn’t want to make conversation nor really look at the boy dragging you along and besides it was already hard enough to focus on not tripping.

How could you when there was the constant thought of someone watching from behind.

Just as you made it through a clearing in the forest, the both of you were met by three other boys of whom Kenny had befriended since birth. You honestly weren’t too big a fan of them since your time playing that stupid rpg game with the whole neighborhood ended up being a whole zombie apocalypse. If anything, you tried to avoid them the most whenever they made a big show of themselves.

You stiffened a little when Kenny guided you over to where they were at, a muffled ‘hi’ under his hoodie when the three of them turned to him.

“Dude, where were you? We were waiting for you but you didn’t show up.” Kyle was always the first one to start asking questions especially if it involved any of his three friends. He had always been the one with the ‘most morals’ in the group but you thought otherwise. Besides, he also threatened to tell everyone that you were an asshole just cause you were dragged into the stupid game by Cartman. It wasn’t your fault that Cartman lived closer to you than he did.

“Probably went to go get his boyfriend or something.” Cartman snickered and you rolled your eyes at his antics. He’s always had a thing of setting people up and quite frankly it scared you a bit.

“Yeah, cause obviously you guys didn’t just send me out ten minutes ago to go get Douchebag.” Kenny muttered as he pulled you along closer to the others, you tried to tug your hand back but to no avail.

Something felt really off when the boys had gotten quiet all of the sudden. You shrunk a little as Kenny brought you over to where Stan stood, he didn’t even look at you when the blond pushed you over to him.

You both stared at each other, ocean blue to warm amber and suddenly Stan turned away. He shook as if he were hit with a wave of nausea or something.

“I… don’t want to be a part of this guys. Like, this is really messed up.” He mumbled and Cartman pounced on him in a second.

“Don’t be a fucking pussy, Stan, you’re the one that wants to know so bad.” The bigger boy taunted, you thought Cartman had no idea what personal space meant since he was invading Stan’s greatly.

“No, I don’t.” Stan pulled back and Kyle quickly jumped to his super best friend’s defense, they always came in a pair after all.

“Yeah, Cartman! You’re the one that suggested it when you took that file out of Mackey’s office and said we should test it.” Kyle snapped as he got between the two. You looked back at Kenny when they began to bicker amongst themselves, hoping that the boy in orange would explain what the others were talking about.

You almost made a sound out how much Kenny’s expression had darkened and his eyes seemed to bore holes at the scene in front of you.

Something was really off.

Before you had a chance to voice your confusion, you felt a sudden prick in your neck from the side and you hissed as your tried to bring your hand up to pull out whatever was in there. Just as your hand touched what felt like a needle, you found yourself crumpled onto the ground with a thud at which the other two boys jumped at.

“Dude!”

“What? It’s not like they’re dead or anything.” You heard Kenny muffled out as he knelt down to where you body laid. Your breath quickened as you stared up at him, your body refusing to move.

“Besides, they’ve been hurt more worse than just an injection.”

“Do you even know what was inside of it?” Kyle asked skeptically with a nervous looking Stan beside him. Kenny shrugged as he wrapped his arm around your back and hooked the other under your knees. You barely felt yourself being lifted into the air as your surroundings began to shift a little.

“Dude, whatever. We got it done and all we have to do is take Douchebag to my basement, no one will ever know.” Cartman said as he led the group along the trail and out of the forest. You made a small noise as a wave of dread and terror washed over you and you glanced back up at the blond haired boy in fear. Kenny kept his eyes glued ahead as he watched his friends conversed with each other.

The silence between you lulled you into a dreamless slumber.

\--

You woke up to find yourself tied to a chair, a light bulb hung over you in a dark and damp room. You weren’t exactly sure who’s room you were exactly in since everything was still moving around you and you couldn’t really move your limbs or anything.

Probably because they were tied.

You jolted awake at the realization that you were tied up and quickly turned your head from side to side, trying to make sense of what situation you ended up in. Your memory was foggy at best but you were sure the boy in orange was part of it.

Just like how he stood in front of you with the other three boys.

Cartman stepped up first, he held something that resembled his staff during the time he was the Grand Wizard King and as he brought it up you instantly flinched. The image of him whacking you repeatedly started to invade your mind and you prayed that it was a past that was long forgotten.

Your head snapped to the side as he struck you across the face, you bit your lip to hold back any pained noises that might’ve arose. The sickening taste of copper at the tip of your tongue as you turned to face him again only for him to strike you again.

“Dude! Stop! They’re up!” You heard Stan shout from behind as he grabbed onto Cartman’s arm before he was able to strike you a fourth time, but by then you were breathing heavily and blood trailed down your forehead from the skin that the stick had accidentally caught. You licked your bloodied lip.

“The fuck, Stan! Do you wanna know Douchebag’s other power or not?” Cartman growled as he yanked his arm away from the shorter boy. Stan made another grab when Cartman pulled his stick back readying to strike you again. “Dude!”

“Cartman, maybe we really shouldn’t do this. I mean, is beating them up really gonna solve anything. We’ll just know their power but what good does that do?” Kyle piped in as he stepped forward when Cartman pushed Stan away. Cartman glared at the two before he turned his attention back to you, there was a slight pause before he smacked you again with the stick.

“Dude!”

“Look, we all want something out of it. Stan you wanna get back with Wendy, Kyle you wanna stop your dad from trolling, and I wanna get back with Heidi before Butters screwed that up.” Cartman explained and he gave you another whack on the head. You whimpered this time as your body shook and you spat out excess blood in your mouth.

“And look, Kenny’s not saying anything so this is fine, isn’t it?”

At that you looked up at the said blond boy who merely stared impassively at you under his hood before you were struck again and you cried out.

“Yeah, but… like this is wrong. This isn’t worth it-”

“It won’t matter if it is or not.” Kenny spoke as he strode up to where you sat, he grabbed your chin and forced you to look up at his haunting sky blue eyes that you could barely make out from the pounding headache. “They’ll just go back and make it seem like none of this ever happened. Good as new. Just like what the file said.”

The room was filled with silence as Kenny stared down at your bloodied face and you tried to search for an answer as to why. Why was this happening? Why did they know about your other ability? Why did they want to use you? Why were you just another tool for everyone to use?

Why couldn’t you be normal?

“C’mon, Kyle, you wanna protect your family right?” You faintly heard Cartman off to the side but kept your eyes glued to the blond boy that stood over you. There was another pause before the red-headed boy spoke.

“... If their power is pain related, you’re gonna have to use more than a stick.”

Your stomach filled with dread as you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes.

\--

Everything was a white noise to you after they broke your shoulder with a hammer and twisted your ankle to the point of it snapping. By now, you were screaming bloody murder and you didn’t understand why Cartman’s mom was not here the one day she really was needed.

You were dying and your body trembled from the trauma it had endured. You didn’t think you could last much longer.

“Dude, why isn’t their power activating?” You couldn’t distinguish the voices anymore, they all blurred together as you were smacked again with the wooden stick. You cried as you coughed up more blood, you were pretty sure they broke more than just your ankle and shoulder.

“This is fucking sick, we should call a doctor-”

“We’ve already gotten this far, we can’t stop now. The file said it’s only activated through intense trauma or pain, meaning we haven’t given them enough!” Another strike from the stick had you tumbling down onto the concrete floor, you screamed as you landed on your messed up shoulder and tears streamed freely down your face.

Cartman had been the only one to actually do harm to you while the other three stood away from his work. The only time they did harm you, and that was only Kyle and Stan, is when you actually fought back and they accidentally ended up breaking your ankle. After that they stood away not wanting any part of the blame.

Or more of Kyle holding Stan back from helping you.

Kenny had stayed silent the whole time after his whole convincing speech to keep going with this torture, his blank stare bore into you with his hands deep within his pockets. How could he just watch you get beaten?

You started thrashing and screaming when Cartman grabbed your by your bad ankle and he quickly let go when you landed a kick on him.

“Aye! Someone help me with them!” You barely registered an orange blur make it’s way over to you as he grabbed you by your bad arm and you wept as pain shook throughout your body. You weren’t sure what you were screaming anymore but Kenny seemed to try to hold your gaze.

“Dude, we don’t want to do this anymore than you want to go through this… c’mon, show them that special ability you have. I know you have it..” Kenny said as you cried and he absentmindedly gripped tighter onto your arm.

“Kenny, move. We’ll have to resort to more drastic measures.” You turned your attention to Cartman only to pale and tremble at the item in his hand.

The blade of the knife reflected yours and Kenny’s horrified expression.

You started screaming something close to inhuman and Kenny instantly released you as if it burned him to touch you. He held his arm up protectively over you as Cartman stepped forward.

“Whoa, whoa, I think they’ve had enough.” Kenny said, a sudden shift in his exterior from before but you weren’t really paying attention. You were too freaked out by the knife and the image of a golden field and the emptiness of the abyss.

“Why are you changing your mind all of the sudden, Kenny? You’re the one that said we should try it out-”

“Yeah, but- I change my mind. This is fucking wrong, all of it-”

“Get out of the way, Kenny. I’m going back.”

“I’m not letting you near them, fatass.”

“The fuck did you say-”

They halted in their heated argument when another yell of pain rang out in the room and you all turned to the source.

Stan was knelt over his cradled hand that had a knife right through the palm. Kyle was instantly down on the floor with his best friend as Stan cried harder and blood squirted out from the wound.

“Stan, stay with me-”

“ _The fuck’s going on-_ ” Cartman screeched as blades cut through the bottoms of his feet holding him in place. He instantly crumpled onto the floor holding onto his wounds in fucking tears.

Kenny stood closer to you as you wailed, his eyes shifted around the room cautiously while his friends were all preoccupied.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, K̡͝ù̸҉͡m̵̵̛̀͝a͢҉̸̧͡.”Kenny jumped at the voice that slowly arose from the darkness in the corner of the room.

A child with long dirty blond hair with an oversized blue-and-pink striped sweater and a huge blue jacket over them stepped out into the trickling light from the bulb above. Their left eye had a post-opt patch over it and they smiled under their large red scarf.

“I told you, those in the timestreams are nothing but disgusting savages. _Every last one of them._ ” They spat jokingly as they stepped closer to you and Kenny, their brown boots clicked with each step.

“You should’ve stayed dead when you fell. Should’ve stayed with me.”

“Who the hell are you.” Kenny said as your cries started to die down to quiet whimpers, the other boys were still screaming over their fresh wounds.

The child laughed as they held their arms out, their closed eyes crinkled at the gesture.

“Me? Why, I’m É̀͠r̶̵͢͡r̴̛ą̶͡͏! What, did K̡͝ù̸҉͡m̵̵̛̀͝a͢҉̸̧͡ not talk about me?” They sang as the danced closer to you. Kenny hovered protectively over you, blocking them from getting any closer to your battered body. Erra paused at their step as they watched Kenny’s action, a brief expression of jealousy flashed over their face before they quickly went back to their playful manner.

“Oh well! K̡͝ù̸҉͡m̵̵̛̀͝a͢҉̸̧͡ was always shy talking about me! Maybe that’s why!” You yelped when you felt arms wrap around your neck from behind. You felt a hot breath against your unharmed shoulder as strands of brown hair tickled your cheek.

“Holy shit-”

“Or maybe, you’re too much of a disgusting savage that you weren’t even worth K̡͝ù̸҉͡m̵̵̛̀͝a͢҉̸̧͡ time, K̴̴͘e̵͡͞n̨̕n҉͞ỳ̧́͜.” You felt Erra grab you harshly by your chin and forced you to look at a surprised Kenny. You heard them giggle and you knew for a fact that their one eye that wasn’t covered was opened revealing their black cornea and their flashing pupil.

“Should I kill him with the rest,K̡͝ù̸҉͡m̵̵̛̀͝a͢҉̸̧͡? Like the rest of his friends? He hurt you after all.” You felt a hot breath against your ear as they turned to let their lips slightly brush against your messy bloody hair. “Then you can stay with me and leave this fucked up place.”

You saw a look of fear and resignation pass over Kenny and suddenly all the hate, fear and resentment you had felt towards him not even a few hours ago vanished instantly. It was quickly replaced by the image of a small child that you held in your arms not too long ago and you shook your head weakly.

“..n-no..” You didn’t know why you were defending the boy who let you get tortured not too long ago, maybe it was some sort of pay back or some twisted way of showing you cared. Either way it made you sick to even stand up for him after what he’s put you through, but your tongue was a lot quicker than your anger.

“...Don’t do it, Erra… I won’t go back… never…”

“Dude…” You heard Kenny whisper under his breath as he gazed at your broken form, you whimpered when you felt Erra’s grip tightened around you.

“They don’t deserve you, K̡͝ù̸҉͡m̵̵̛̀͝a͢҉̸̧͡. They don’t deserve your kindness, look at what they did-” Erra’s voice grew with each word and their nails dug into your already damaged skin. Their words dripped with venom as they jerked your head again and you shrunk in your seat.

“He’s just like everyone else! Look at **him**! **He** did this to you! **He** just want to use us like everyone else did! Remember why you fell in the first place? If it wasn’t for me you would be **dead** in a flower patch-”

“Let go of them-” Kenny took a step forward only to fall to his knees when Erra shot a hand out towards him. The ground beneath him cracked from the added pressure and his nose began to drip with blood.

“ **Shut up!** You’re the sick bastard who did this to them- Did you brainwash them? Did you mess with their head? You should just **die** already-”

Kenny barked out a hollow laugh as he gazed up at Erra daringly. You thought he was insane to go against them. “I’d like to see you _ **try**_ , motherfucker!”

Erra let out a scream as they increased the pressure and you began to try and wiggle from their grasp, you couldn’t bear to watch Kenny die of gravity as he could barely keep himself up now. A strangled shout of pain making it’s way out of his chapped lips.

“They’re not **yours** \- _fuck!_ \- What makes you think you can just waltz in here and take them- _dammit!_ ”

“The moment **_you_ ** made contact with them, shit stain!”

 _“Stop!”_ You cried as you heard the snap of Kenny’s bones breaking, you fought against Erra’s hold and tried to untie yourself to no avail. You started to scream when Kenny began to cry out in agony. _“Stop! Stop! Stop! Erra, stop!”_

Images of you an Erra came before you as you fought hard for your freedom, images of you playing and existing peacefully in the ‘menu’ area with them where it was just the two of you. When the two of you turned your backs against the timestreams only to watch the trees grow and blossom into a forest of time; you remembered when you began to yearn to move with the people in timestreams. To follow them and take part in the flow, the boy in orange with angel like wings beckoning you to the tree.

You were suddenly struck with the memory of Erra’s clawing hands around your arm as they tried to drag you back into the abyss.

_“I’m not yours! I will never belong to you, Erra!”_

You heard them screech as you felt them pull your head to the side harshly, a snap resounded as both Kenny and Erra stared in horror at your rigid body as it slumped over completely.

As the world darkened, you heard Erra let out another scream and the haunting image of Kenny’s horrified eyes that glistened with pure shock glued to the front of your mind.

**\--Loading File 1--**

**\---**

**\--File 1 successfully Loaded--**

When you awoke you found yourself under the tree at the corner of the schoolyard once again, your amber eyes stared up at the leaves as phantom pains shot through your body. Memories of the recent Load fresh in your mind as you sat up and the faint voice of Erra’s weeping voice as they begged you to stay rang in your ears.

You felt sick to your stomach.

As you stood up, you heard the rustle of leaves from behind and you turned to find the boy in orange stare at you with scared sky blue eyes. The haunting eyes that watched as you were beaten to a pulp and later killed.

There was a beat of silence between you two before you bolted over the brick fence once again and into the forest, snow and leaves cascaded onto your small form as the sound of heavy boots crunching in the snow not too far behind.

The phantom tastes of blood at the back of your throat with the constant dull throbs of sharp pain echoed throughout your body, you wanted to scream but willed yourself to run further and further into the woods as you hoped to lose your pursuer.

Just when you felt gloved fingers wrapped around your elbow, you wasted no time in swinging your fist into the jaw of a closing in blond. You watched as the other lost his footing and fell harshly to the snow, your body shook as you stood over him panting.

His blue eyes gazed up at you and you snapped.

You let out a scream as you jumped onto him, you swung fist after fist at him until they were bloodied and purple. Your arms ached at the repeated motion and begged for rest until you could swing no more.

He didn’t fight back as your shaky fingers curled around his neck and your nails cut into his skin as red lines marred his throat. You felt tears fall freely from your eyes as you wailed and screamed the only question you could think of.

 **_“Why, why, why, why, why?!”_ ** Your throat hurt from the overuse of words to the point that it became hoarse and it felt as though needles were clogging up your throat. You watched helplessly as Kenny stared up at you with sorrowful eyes and he shakingly reached up to touch your cold damp cheek.

You felt bile rise in your throat.

Without warning, you leaped away from him and keeled over to the side as you emptied your stomach. Vomit mixed with hot tears as your body trembled from the stress and the permanent image of being beaten over and over again and your neck snapping.

You didn’t even hear Kenny sit up or walk over to you, your body shook violently when you felt his shaking arms wrap around you and you tried to push him away but you felt so weak and tired.

You were tired of your constant resets, you were tired of being used, you were tired of being lied to, you were tired of just existing.

“Why..? What did I do…? Why?” You whimpered pathetically and your shoulders slumped as he held onto you tightly. You felt him quake as he answered, his voice wavered as he spoke in a hush tone.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” He apologized over and over again, his quivering lips brushed against your hair and your cheek. You felt yourself growing more and more exhausted as your weak cries turned into tired sobs.

“Why do you **hate me so much** … why do you hate me…why did I deserve any of it… why..?”

You felt his arms tighten around you as you kept your unfocused gaze onto the darkened forest, his light trembling voice filling the ominous silence among the trees.

“I don’t hate you, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry… I-I’m so sorry..” Kenny whispered quietly, his arm shook around you as you allowed the taller boy to hold you tightly under the falling snow.

The echoes of Erra’s chilling laughter made you shiver and it struck you that there was no such thing as going back to perfection, you curled more into the body behind you and wept.


End file.
